eskatological volumes

10.05.2003

 
21:12

geez, i thought i'd posted more recently. not there's a lot of exciting things to catch up on. thurs night i went by office max and bought 256mb of ddr ram since they had some rebate action going on which made it (or will make it) $10 total. i'll put that ram in the machine i'm building from what mal gave me. friday night juile went to the guster concert, so i sat around here. i did such wild things like balance the checkbook! and..uh..go to bed at 9.30 or so! i was really fucking tired/sleepy friday night. i think i may be trying to come down with cold, or some weird flu. or perhaps i have TEH SARS! anyway, friday night i had these really weird fucking dream where pop had bought this 20-ish year old subaru for me. he was saying he'd gotten it for really cheap, but was kinda coy as to tell me why it was so cheap. finally he tells me that 30 or so years ago, this man killed his wife and for 20 of those years, had hidden her body in this car. they had recently found him out, got the car and her body, and somehow pop had gotten the car out of this deal. i think i was half awake for this dream, cause i was just totally freaked out by all this. now, i have dreams much more weird and disturbing than this, but i guess cause i was partially awake..or something, it just really got to me. in the dream i was having flashbacks to images of the car and wondering if the guy had chopped her body up and stored it in different places in the car, or just had her in the trunk or what. and then i was thinking that maybe it wouldn't be so creepy if we just took the transmission from this car and put it in mine. and the fuel pump (for some reason). then i was playing on my computers, but still freaked out cause it was dark, so i went out and watched some ppl outside play softball; but then the cops pulled up shortly thereafter. one of the middle-aged guys playing ball said him and his wife had had a dispute, and hopefully they could work it out with the cops there. i reluctantly went back into my dark apt, and then started hearing the couple upstairs fighting..which made me think of the guy killling his wife and storing her in the car and again with the wiggins. then i finally woke up. was still weirded out for a while. anyway, saturday i went to cookeville and played dnd with the guys and slept over at my parents that night. this morning me and my parents chatted up and what not. this afternoon juile and i watched the sum of all fears (borrowed from ed and trish; we watched the bourne identity sat morning which i forgot). both were alright movies i suppose. worth what i paid for them.
the only other thing that's kind of odd is how much i've missed my parents over the past few months. i've had a great relationship with my parents for some years now, but it seems like i miss them more and more, i want to see them more, and it's even harder to leave than before now. i'm not really sure why that is. and tied up in those feelings are also feelings of just wanting to be able to go 'home' and be away from my troubles. which julie may find a little hurtful as she and i should have our own home; which i think we do. but i don't know why i keep focusing on my parents so much recently.

music: cyclobe - inevitable black horn (all mp3s on random)