eskatological volumes

4.08.2002

 
22:47

very soon my last day of unemployment will end as i will go to bed and nervously await tomorrow morning.
had a pretty good last day though. got up this morning and after the usual goofing on the internet i cleaned up and first off got the oil in my subaru changed. it needed it pretty bad i'd say as i hadn't changed it in over a year. dudes there noticed/told me that my wiper blades were pretty well shot. then i took the the skinny ribbed pants back to penney's, deposited a check, and went on to kroger. i'd rounded up a bunch of change i had laying around and threw it all in their change counting machine; got $16 bucks out of it which wasn't too shabby i thought. while i was there i got some fruits, yogurt, etc. came back here and fiddled around for a bit. talked to doug and kinda asked if he wanted to come down again and spend my last day with me. so he did. but while he was on his way i went to target and got some wipers for the subaru; they had some bosch marked down half price that fit my car. cool beans. got those on and checked my tire pressure. they seemed to be a bit low. after a little bit doug got here and we shot the shit for a bit and then went on to eat at sitar. then we ran by the green hills mall so i could pick up some chocolate for deanna to thank her for helping me get the job. following that we came back towards home and rented session 9 (it was pretty good; better than most movies of that kind). oh, and i aired up my tires right before we got back here, but the pressure gauge at the gas station said they had more air in them then my gauge had said....so i put a few pounds in just to be safe and went on. um, after the movie we watched a bit of teevee then he headed on home.
and now i'm here. as i mentioned at the beginning of the post i'm a bit nervous about tomorrow. i guess anyone would be..but it's just annoying. i moreso nervous about how much i'll like the job...and i guess a bit about getting back into the rut of things. i am how i am...and if the job starts sucking or whatever, i'm prolly gonna turn into the same nutcase i was at painewebber. unless i learn how to adjust..or control...or something. but this time _hopefully_ i'll just have more motivation, what with being engaged and the desire to get a house. but perhaps that pressure will just make me crack more. bleah ...i dunno. i guess i'll have to just wait and see. it just seems like i never let myself be happy. a coulpe of ppl have mentioned that i seem happier over the past few days...and i guess i have been to an extent. but i was kinda feeling like getting a job would make me happy for weeks, and already i'm thinking bad stuff.
bleargh
...crud, i just remembered that i meant to wash a load of whites today. ah well, i've got enough for a few days at least.
*sigh* time for bed now

music: buffalo '66 sndtrk - a cold & grey summer day